Why?

At the beginning of 2024, I found myself in yet another mental health crisis. Sick of the cycle and years of being trapped in a system that saved me—but one I desperately wanted to get out of—I needed to find another way to get through the days. Where all of the old unhealthy urges were taking over, I had a counteracting urge to paint—to metaphorically get all that was paining me out. I scrambled in the depths of my chaotic cupboards to find whatever paint I had hoarded from my last painting phase, found an old canvas, and let rip. I threw, splatted, and dripped my very limited, very apt black, white, and red palette, cried, and let go. For the first time, I really connected with what I had created. It created the mindful place I had been reaching for for years, and I’ve been painting my experiences and emotions ever since.

Appreciate that couldn't be a more apt way to start this one because boy do I..... but we'll get into the what's and whys of that in due course. 

A moment.... perspective unknowingly brought to attention. A held back rush of disbelief, pride, fear, surprise and gratitude all rolled into one.  I paraphrase, "Did you ever imagine this is what you'd be doing with your time?" Nope, no, never, ever, never, not ever, a flick book of versions of my previous selves, all with their jaws on the floor.

Wednesdays, coffee morning.