A moment.... perspective unknowingly brought to attention. A held back rush of disbelief, pride, fear, surprise and gratitude all rolled into one. I paraphrase, "Did you ever imagine this is what you'd be doing with your time?" Nope, no, never, ever, never, not ever, a flick book of versions of my previous selves, all with their jaws on the floor.
In that moment I realized that all of the things those previous selves had blindly hoped for, wished for, So many desperate nights, Clinging to impossibilities, that one day, some way, somehow I would become the kind of person that was capable mentally of doing the things I am now doing and even more so, have surpassed impossibilities that were so impossible, weren't ever even considered. Self fulfilling prophecy much, isn't hindsight wonderful.
Because of that, all the things that now appear as impossible, don't quite feel as impossible because I've done so many of my own impossibles already.
And so I find myself in this little world I never quite allowed myself to believe or imagine actually possible, grateful to the versions of me that held on in the hopes of just, something, when she really just didn't want to; and grateful to all the people that helped drag me through and are still helping drag me through, whether they realise it or not. And excited for all the versions of me that will be, more.
A moment.... can change your entire perspective. Beautiful chaos.
Zoe Siobhan.
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