Reflection

And as the year starts to creep towards it's end, reflection roars and what a year it was.

I can't deny that this year has mostly felt like holding on by the skin of my teeth, I can't deny that the mental place I currently find myself in is less that ideal to begin a year with but I also can't deny that I made it and at moments made it with some almighty gusto and good life choices, regardless of Environment or mental states or fears.

A lot was lost through 2024, A lot was also gained and a lot was learned.

Mostly, I learned that in all the chaos life brings, embracing it as much as possible and navigating it with acceptance instead of resentment makes all the difference, and although my current mental health makes me wonder if it was all worth it I know it was or at least, it will be.

I built on relationships that have become some of my favourites, I pushed through so much fear I wonder what could be left, as it happens, A lot but I achieved things I didn't think I ever would or could, worth it.

Art wise, I picked up a paintbrush not for the first time, but for the first time for absolute necessity and basically never put it back down again, That one painting in February changed the trajectory of my life (the breakup before it probably helped but we don't need to talk about that.) and I'm about to sit and create my last painting of 2024, an ode to a year that created the best version of me yet and no matter what 2025 may bring, nobody can take that from me. 

Next year brings my first exhibition and although it may not become exactly what I envisioned when I started, it'll still be one hell of an accomplishment, and then, who knows.

A massive thankyou to all that helped get me through!

Happy new year everyone, see you on the other side.

Forever chaotic,

Zoe Siobhan.